Listening to Your Teen on a Deeper Level
How to listen to your teen on a deeper level: practical strategies for parents
This episode focuses on empathetic, intentional listening as a core parenting strategy during adolescence. Hosts Mark Gregsten and Wayne Shepard discuss why teens withdraw, how online attention differs from relational affirmation, and why parents must shift from a teaching posture to a training posture. The conversation includes real teen testimony about healing through being heard and practical steps parents can use immediately.
Why active listening matters for teen mental health and family stability
Teens are hungry for relational validation, yet often receive shallow online responses like likes and comments instead of meaningful dialogue. Mark highlights that listening is one of the most effective countermeasures to cultural influences that fragment family connection. Listening uncovers a teen's heart, reveals struggles, and guides more effective parenting decisions.
Concrete listening techniques parents can use today
Ask open-ended questions to stimulate reflection and give teens space to explain what they think and feel. Practice silence—don’t fill pauses with judgments or immediate advice. Be slow to speak and quick to listen so the teen feels safe, seen, and respected. Schedule intentional, device-free time to listen, and avoid interrupting when teenagers are processing aloud.
Transition from teaching to training for adolescent growth
The hosts explain that parenting purposefully changes around ages 12–13: less directive teaching and more training that cultivates the seeds already planted in your child. Using metaphors like fertilizing and watering, the episode outlines how parents can support growth through consistent listening, targeted questions, and small adjustments to rules and consequences based on what they learn from their teen.
Real-world examples and support resources
An interview with a young woman who graduated from a residential counseling program illustrates how compassionate listening and professional help can lead to restored family relationships, improved school engagement, and greater self-respect. The episode also highlights Heartlight's residential counseling and Families in Crisis conferences as resources for parents facing acute challenges.
In short, this episode delivers a practical roadmap for parents who want to rebuild trust and communication. By prioritizing empathetic listening, using silence strategically, and shifting parenting methods as teens mature, families can navigate adolescent years with more hope and less conflict.
